Wow.
That about sums it up. Eight days from now, I am getting married.
Never ever ever did I imagine it would be like this. 1) I didn't think I would ever be this happy with someone, or feel this lucky, or have this much hope for the future. 2) I didn't think my little sister would not be at my wedding, but she isn't well enough to make a cross-country trip. 3) I didn't think I would marry a man with lots of kids, but there they are, and I don't mind it as much as I should. 4) I didn't think I would feel such a strong willingness to commit myself to something outside of myself. It won't be easy or instantaneous, but I am there. 5) I didn't think I would be spending the month leading up to the wedding putting in extra hours at work to meet a deadline, afraid that saying the wrong thing might get me fired. 6) I didn't think a relationship could take the stress of him being out of town for 4 days at a time so he can earn enough to support those kids. But here I am. And we're really doing this. And I'm still excited about it. Hee hee.
One of the weirdest things for me is the name change. For years and years I knew that I would keep my name if I got married, or hyphenate if I had to. This was just the way it was. This was who I was. And now, suddenly, it isn't a big deal. I don't need to hang onto it. I want to be a part of this new thing, this marriage, and I'm okay with the new last name. Searching for any doubts, down to my core, I find nothing. Just... adventure - go for it! Try this new name thing. I'm astounded by this change that snuck up on me.
Why I Like People Today:
Because they make up games like Ghosting and put them on Jay Leno and I get to laugh at work when someone starts playing the clip. Because despite the pressure that management wants to put on us, a group of smart and creative people will find ways to have fun and push back.
Never ever ever did I imagine it would be like this. 1) I didn't think I would ever be this happy with someone, or feel this lucky, or have this much hope for the future. 2) I didn't think my little sister would not be at my wedding, but she isn't well enough to make a cross-country trip. 3) I didn't think I would marry a man with lots of kids, but there they are, and I don't mind it as much as I should. 4) I didn't think I would feel such a strong willingness to commit myself to something outside of myself. It won't be easy or instantaneous, but I am there. 5) I didn't think I would be spending the month leading up to the wedding putting in extra hours at work to meet a deadline, afraid that saying the wrong thing might get me fired. 6) I didn't think a relationship could take the stress of him being out of town for 4 days at a time so he can earn enough to support those kids. But here I am. And we're really doing this. And I'm still excited about it. Hee hee.
One of the weirdest things for me is the name change. For years and years I knew that I would keep my name if I got married, or hyphenate if I had to. This was just the way it was. This was who I was. And now, suddenly, it isn't a big deal. I don't need to hang onto it. I want to be a part of this new thing, this marriage, and I'm okay with the new last name. Searching for any doubts, down to my core, I find nothing. Just... adventure - go for it! Try this new name thing. I'm astounded by this change that snuck up on me.
Why I Like People Today:
Because they make up games like Ghosting and put them on Jay Leno and I get to laugh at work when someone starts playing the clip. Because despite the pressure that management wants to put on us, a group of smart and creative people will find ways to have fun and push back.
By the way, I am still using this dinosaur of a laptop. With a little help from an IT friend, it is a brand new kind of old friend. The kind with no Internet browser history.
