Sir Chistory

Every now and then, one must do some cleaning up. De-cluttering. Removing the trail.

Yes, it is time to clear the Search History.

Heat Miser
Because the Christmas special "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" was starting, and I had to see if it was the one with the Heat Miser. Which it wasn't. It's the one with the Burger Meister Meisterburger. The Heat Miser is in "The Year Without a Santa Claus", only the best Christmas special ever.

Container for Ice Melt
Because Mom suggested carrying some in the car, and it comes in a large plastic bag. I was interested in having a container that would not be eaten through by the mysterious salty stuff. I did find someone who made a shaker out of a plastic coffee can, but not much else. They had to use a second lid because the holes were too small in the first one and it cracked. Thrilling stuff.

Homemade Ice Cream
Now, here I was looking for a way to make ice cream in my own freezer. I found a nice description of a method using a small plastic bag inside a large one and doing a lot of shaking. This, or another one of those plastic coffee cans seems to be the way to go. But I need half-and-half. This is a one-of -these-days project. There were some nice suggestions for flavors that I want to try.

Tzatziki Sauce
I made some of this a while ago and I have some falafil in the fridge, so I was trying to remember what the main ingredient was. Was it sour cream? No, it's plain yogurt. That makes more sense. Unfortunately, I don't have fresh yogurt in the fridge, even though I did get a cucumber. Maybe tomorrow.

Walking Tall
Because I caught the last half of it and then it started again on TV. The first part seemed so different from the last half. I looked it up to see the story summaries. One was a description of the first part, and the other included the bits I'd already seen. I recommend the second half.

Need a Tutorial
I was sort of hoping someone would need a tutorial that sounded like I could make it for them.

Techniques By Day
This was a keyboard-swipe misinterpretation of "temperatures by day". I wanted to find the date of a cold snap early in the year for some reason. I knew it was in February.

Turkey Casserole with Green Chiles
I have a lot of turkey left over from Thanksgiving, and I got a can of green chiles at the new natural foods store near the library. I love a good green chile with turkey, so... But all of the recipes were for something like enchiladas, completely southwesty. Not casseroley. I ended up with turkey, green chiles, peas, egg noodles, onion, celery, cheddar cheese and spinach. Ugly stuff I would never serve to anyone else.

Guy Burt
I looked this guy up because I watched Bletchley Circle on Netflix. I liked it a lot, and I was hoping for more like it. Didn't find more awesome shows about smart women after the war.

Alamo
My sister used this as a word in Word Feud. I was looking for a non-proper use of alamo as a word. I didn't find one. How did she get away with this?

Telling Weather with Leeches
I was reading a book - okay, listening to it - and they mentioned this fascinating thing about a guy who had a system of leeches that would ring bells in case of a storm. You can't read about that without looking it up. It's for real. I so so want to try this some day.

Econoheat Square
Okay, so I was looking up how to warm up a claw-foot tub to see if there were any clever ideas out there. Someone suggested these things. It's like a square you hang on the wall or something. Or put under your tub.

Candy Crush Ruining Relationships
Maybe I was just a little annoyed at someone... I learned quite a bit about this fascinating game that I've never played. How it trolls people along with little nibbles of wins and then makes it impossible for a while so they get frustrated and buy stuff to win, even though the patient ones will win eventually anyway. What they are buying is still beyond me. A game isn't a game if you can buy your way through it.

The Difference is Mink
This phrase was driving me nuts for a couple of days. I must have heard "the difference is..." somewhere, and my brain filled in the end of it. I knew it was from an old advertisement, but I couldn't think what the product was. Turns out it was Mink Difference hair products. Awesome marketing. It must have been 30 years ago.

Bored yet?

Amps Watts Volts
To get the formula so I could figure out if a heater would be too much for the circuit.

Damon and Pithius
This was mentioned and I had to look it up because I had never heard of this pair. It's from Greek mythology. The name is Pythias. They were friends and Pythias was sentenced to death. Damon took his place while he went home to settle his affairs. When he didn't come back, Damon's neck was on the line. Pythias made it back at the last second, claiming he was delayed by pirates. The guy who was going to kill him was so impressed with this friendship that he let them both live. Quite the story. I think Pythias was lying.

People Flying in Squirrel Suits
Umm... somebody said something about this, and I was curious. What the heck is a squirrel suit? I guess it's a company that makes "wingsuits". Skydiving stuff.

Basel FC
We were looking up the soccer teams on the TV during the break in the pub quiz, to see where they were from. These guys are Swiss.

Former US Colony in Africa
This is from the quiz. It's Liberia. Since then, I have been able to remember where Liberia is, because now I know this bit of detail about it.

As much as I'm enjoying this, I need to end it somewhere. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed, but there is more.

For another day.

Hopeless - ?

I have no idea what it means.

I mean, I know what the word means, but why is it on this billboard? Was I meant to see it? What am I supposed to do with it? How many other people are looking at it and wondering? I can only imagine that there is more to come - I hope so. Ha.

Well, it did this. Got me to write something. So clearly I am the opposite of hopeless.

Today I tried to get photos off my new phone for the first time. I tried a couple of different things, and ended up with a few folders of pictures I could have sworn I deleted. Finally, I triggered the automatic download thingy and suddenly there were 2500 photos being transferred to my computer.

Yes, it is a new phone. But that SD card has been with me for oh, about three years. And I saw my life passing before my eyes. Literally. I was seeing pictures of my husband, fireworks, mountains, pumpkins, lakes, the kids, snow, sci-fi geeks, horses, the garden... flashing by in a fascinating representation of my life and the things I focus on.

 Nothing is more interesting than your own life. I wanted to write it down but I couldn't stop watching this speedy film-strip of moments that made me smile. The garden growing from nothing to a jungle, my husband changing from a truck-driver to a rancher. Kids growing up, seasons changing, I knew it was fast, but this was even faster.

And there are so many varied things, all tossed together in the mix, all flickering by as part of a whole that is somehow made complete by the way it is never the same.

How many moments in there might have felt hopeless? I don't remember. I didn't take pictures of them.

But here's what I do remember: that feeling doesn't last. Things keep changing, and as long as they do, there is always a chance for hope.

Digital Immortality or Bust!

Ugh. That title is awful.

But here I am, struggling with the knowledge that if I died today, half of who I am would be obliterated - by neglect or by expiration, by a kid needing a computer, by nobody else being aware of who I am online. I have become: a patient and encouraging adviser on Yahoo! Answers, an overwhelmed yet courageous step-mom on a stepmothers' site, and a blogger who struggles to understand motivation. A virtual life that will just disappear, perhaps staying suspended in time for a while as long as the memory is available for old posts and accounts aren't updated.

That's not even going into all the files on my computer that someone would blow away without reading any of it. All of those things I consider precious and important - most likely treated like clutter and trash.

Thus the quest for digital immortality. The need to plant a flag that says "I was here!" And put neon signs on that flag so my husband can find it.

I've recently learned about the "digital  executor". This is the person who is saddled with the responsibility of handling the digital accounts and assets of a deceased person. Closing out e-mail and Facebook accounts, making sure the right people are notified of your demise, making sure your data and passwords get into the right hands. This is a fascinating topic to me, a dramatic change in how we view assets and inheritance. You might inherit a flash drive and a password instead of a business and a bank account. How bizarre is that?

What will happen to all of my pictures, videos, novels, notes, and songs? How do I even start to define what gets saved and what gets lost? Who will ever care?

Who will ever care?

Goodbye, DVR

Goodbye, DVR.
Goodbye, Blue Crush and The Lorax and Repo Men and Classical Stretch.
Goodbye, Bachelor, Suburgatory, Modern Family...
Goodbye to all the shows I have been inexplicably drawn to: Say Yes to the Dress, Cheaters, Hoarders, and all those Lifetime movies.

Hello, moment of panic.

Hello, facing reality.
Hello, future.

Hello, getting what I really want.

For years, I have been filling these notebooks with thoughts, dreams, poems and songs, comments, lists, self-analysis, complaints, and stories.

It's time to do more.

It's time to risk.    I don't want to risk; I like safety and security and control. But I want what could happen if I do this. I want the dream. I'll take a partial half-dream over no dream. Whatever I can get. My guts are telling me to GO.

So, goodbye distractions. Hello me.

A Compendium of Me

Out by the river there is a big old tree with a big old rope hanging from it. The river is not close enough to swing out to it this time of year. You can see where the water ran through the area in the spring and summer, making channels and feeding the Russian olives. These places were almost impossible to reach in the fall, weeds growing wild and thick.

The winter has been so mild that I can visit them now. Much of the river is iced over, but water still flows beneath. I found the place where it emerges and studied the edges of ice. It was nice to explore, wonderful to have good weather for it.

So boring for you, but priceless to me.

Here are the things on my mind:

Blood types:

Recently my husband was reading something about tailoring your diet to match your blood type. We learned something: I don't know my blood type and I have no medical records telling me what it is. Given that I'm not sick too often, I was able to look through just about everything.

Seems like someone should have told me somewhere along the way. I can only assume that I have one of the most common types or it would have been brought to my attention. But it makes me wonder. Am I supposed to know this? Does everyone else know their blood type like they know their phone number?

I'm pretty sure finding out involves needles and my sneaky hidden veins, so this one is going on the back burner for now. Maybe I'll ask about it at my annual checkup.

Job change:

When he isn't reading about interesting food/body connections, Hubby is mostly working. He recently moved into a position he has been wanting to try out for quite a while. Something that is possibly safer than driving trucks at night on muddy roads near cliffs. Something that lets him use more of his fabulous brains and awesome voice. I'm so proud and happy for him. :)

Procrastination:

Lately, I've been putting off much more important things than usual. Procrastination is still just a hobby for me, it doesn't pay enough to claim on my taxes. But it's like a natural talent, I'm so good at it. It's quite possible I've developed it into an art form.

Like I said, I've expanded into greater, life-changing procrastinations. Tonight I am putting off contacting a potential novel reader - once again. This will keep me from ever reaching my goal of being a published novelist. I'm sure there is some subconscious reason for it, some fear of success, maybe. Ha. Ha ha. Eek.

Identity:

And then we come to the last topic of the day. Specifically, my identity. Or rather, my identity online. Hearing that folks are Googling new authors while they consider their work for publication got me interested in creating a central information point for all things me. A melting pot of me-ness. A me compendium. But here is the problem: who am I? How do you look professional while also looking like you are a mish-mash of random interests and experiences?

There must be a way. I need to think about it.

I Ham What I Ham

Oh, I forgot what I was going to write about.

I really did have an idea, then I saw that November post and it distracted me.

Now I'm totally distracted trying to find a picture I want to make into a poster.

It was on the backup of Laptop 1 which was in a folder on Desktop 2 and I had to get it through the network onto Laptop 2. I'm calling it Desktop 2 because it is the second desktop computer I ever owned, sadly becoming obselete in a world of gigaRAM and tablets. Laptop 1 still powers up, but it doesn't have the guts that got spewed into the backup. In fact, it was a backup that did it in. Sad story, and it has never quite been the same. Heavy son of a gun. Lasted some 7 years as top dog laptop before I forked over somewhat less money for something that makes it cry in a lonely corner.

Cross that one off the list. Image file ready for printing. Another dream about to be realized.

Now if I could just remember what I was going to spout off on here. Was I going to say I am now a Ham? (Do a little giddy geek dance here to capture the feeling.)

Was I going to say how proud I am of myself? (Smile uncontrollably here.)

How glad I am to see the sun? How surprised I am at the number of photos I have hidden away in boxes? How hard it is to come up with things to write about?

What I want to do is this: start a blog called How I Became a Ham. The thing about it is, it won't be about studying about repeaters and FCC regulations and ohms and amperes. It will be about me, any little old thing about me that led up to this day in my life. Because I'm sure it all was needed to make me become a Ham. It's incredibly selfish and interesting, because I've led an interesting life. Not a sordid one. Not too sordid. Not most of it.

And it would feed into my need to be known. To be shared. Like a network folder between my computers. Only you would be the laptop grabbing information from me, the desktop. And I would be creating files for you to grab. You wouldn't know what was next. Or rather, what had already happened. Before. Before I became. A Ham.

Awesome. I'm sure nobody will see it, just like this one.

Here Goes Nothin'

November. The month of putting away Halloween and trying not to hear the Christmas music in the stores...
But what it really means to me is... National Novel Writing Month.




But this year something happened. I was so unaware that it was already a week into the month before I saw an e-mail about write-ins and realized that I had missed the starting gunshot (the starting paper-scratch?). I'd missed thousands of words already. How sad. How hopeless to catch up. How I longed for the days when I was a part of it.

But... so... now what? Now, I am forcing myself to blog. But see? Without the deadline, my word count flounders. I pause, I get up to do other things. I feel... useless. Wordless. Non-fiction.

Ahhh, I give up. Maybe there's a good movie playing somewhere.